Tea With The Mad Hatters

Carnal apple, Woman filled, burning moon,

dark smell of seaweed, crush of mud and light,
what secret knowledge is clasped between your pillars?

Here are some ads I made up for Craigslist because I have nothing else to do with my free time that could possibly benefit society.

Skiing Partner

I have two pairs of skis that I bought before my girlfriend left me for the ski instructor. They haven't been used since.
Just the other day, I thought to myself, "Hey, just because she's gone doesn't mean I can't ski, anymore!" So, I am looking for someone to go skiing with me when winter nips into the air. Preferably someone who is under 5'10 and weighs less than 130 pounds- just so it's easier for me to teach you. And I'm really not that guy who's huge on religion and Jesus and everything, but, hey, if you are spiritual, that helps. Also, must like Chuckwalla Iguanas.

If interested, please call Dave at 555-2384

Desperately Seeking Anita

I met you at the Berkshire Mall. I winked at you, you didn't look the other way, and so I took that opportunity to give you my phone number. A couple weeks after, I texted you saying, "How bout you leave your friends at that bar and come give me a handjob at this 24 hour Wendy's?" You changed your phone number. Now, I'm looking for you. I know you're out there. Don't hide. Please, Anita Coricheck.

Devendra Banhart-Insect Eyes





All art by Devendra Banhart


I saw this in a Devendra Banhart interview:

Name three animals you like the most and the reason why before you continue reading on.

I picked the bunny first because...well it's cuddly, cute and quiet.

Then, I chose the cat because I often think of it as sitting on a throne, but easily surrenders when given gentle love.

Then I chose the chameleon because I remembered an assignment we had done after reading Kafka to mold an animal we identify with most and I liked the idea of a chameleon changing colors for many reasons.

So, Banhart says that the first animal you had chosen is what people view you as. The second is how you view yourself. The third is who you really are.

Is Hugh Hefner my enemy?

Feminism is all about giving women choices. And Hefner just so happens to facilitate one choice. This choice, however, brings women a step back into the pit men have dug for them.

Isn't that also the definition of the devil? To facilitate a choice that tempts us away from all we can be? Perhaps we should create an outfit for Hefner to walk around in, custom made, complete with those adorable little devil horns.

Just a thought...I made a model of his new outfit on paint, check it out.



Update: Anonymous blogger who commented; I commented back. Please read and others, feel free to pitch in!! All comments that at least somewhat employ understanding and passion are welcome.

"Well... we actually had a class together in school. A small class, like nine students and everyone sat around this table except I sat in one corner of the room and Owen sat in another corner of the room. So, there were two people in the class who did not bother...did not want to sit at the table and I remember thinking, "Well, who does he think he is not sitting at the table?", even though I was doing the same thing. "Is he copying me?", and we never spoke the whole time.

But when we went back for the next semester, the first day he walked up to me in the corridor and asked me which creative writing class we should take and I said,
"Oh you're...you're from the-," and he said,
"Yeah."
He acted like we were already friends-because we had silently sat there in the room together for a semester. And then we were."

Wes Anderson on how he met Owen Wilson in 88' when they were both students at the University of Texas.

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter c would be dropped to be replased either by k or s, and likewise x would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which c would be retained would be the ch formation, which will be dealt with later.

Year 2 might reform w spelling, so that which and one would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish y replasing it with i and Iear 4 might fiks the g/j anomali wonse and for all.

Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.

Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez c, y and x — bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez — tu riplais ch, sh, and th rispektivli.

Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

-Mark Twain

"And now, I said, let me show in a figure how far our nature is enlightened or unenlightened: --Behold! human beings living in a underground den, which has a mouth open towards the light and reaching all along the den; here they have been from their childhood, and have their legs and necks chained so that they cannot move, and can only see before them, being prevented by the chains from turning round their heads. Above and behind them a fire is blazing at a distance, and between the fire and the prisoners there is a raised way; and you will see, if you look, a low wall built along the way, like the screen which marionette players have in front of them, over which they show the puppets. "

Plato-The Republic

[Thanks to artists Kumi Yamashita, Tim Noble, Sue Webster, Shigeo Fukuda and Larry Kagen.]

The mirror on my wall
Casts an image dark and small
But I'm not sure at all it's my reflection.
I am blinded by the light
Of God and truth and right
And I wander in the night without direction.

So I'll continue to continue to pretend
My life will never end,
And flowers never bend
In the rainfall
-Flowers in the Rainfall, Simon and Garfunkel-->

"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta. She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita. Did she have a precursor? She did, indeed she did. In point of fact, there might have been no Lolita at all had I not loved, one summer, an initial girl-child. In a princedom by the sea. Oh when? About as many years before Lolita was born as my age was that summer. You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, exhibit number one is what the seraphs, the misinformed, simple, noble-winged seraphs, envied. Look at this tangle of thorns."
Nobokov, Lolita











Sitting here wishing on a cement floor
Just wishing that I had just something you wore.

I miss your soup and I miss your bread
And a letter in your writing doesn't mean you're not dead.
So spill your breakfast and drip your wine
Bloody your hands on a cactus tree
Wipe it on your dress and send it to me.
-Cactus, The Pixies